Hey, guys! So growing up, I was a huge gamer. I mean, every single free second that I had, I was either on a gaming console or a computer or a Gameboy of some sort. I would say about 50% of my childhood was me playing video games. 25% was playing sports, the other 25% was making videos, and the last remaining 5% was me neglecting my math homework. Don’t get me wrong, I definitely don’t play as many video games as I used to because, you know, I’m not a kid anymore. I’m a mature adult, so… F*CK! Anyway, if you play or played as many video games as I did, you definitely heard this before.
It’s one of the most irritating things you could ever hear as a gamer: Why are you wasting your time? If you have someone like that in your life, get rid of them. Not ’cause of what they say– that voice is so irritating! It’s usually coming from your parents or girls. I’m not trying to be sexist, I know a lot of girls play video games too, but let’s be real–it’s more guys. It’s a fact. Although there’s a lot of guys that will question your video game playing too. But, I mean, those are just the losers that don’t play video games because they have no lives.
Right guys? (chuckles) (singing) Ryan has friends! There are three main reasons why I think people say that video games are a waste of time. One, they’re not good at them, so they don’t like playing them. Two, they like playing them, but they have no time, so they don’t want you to either. Or the worst of all: Three! They judge you because you have an interest in something that they have no interest in. Which is so judgmental and makes absolutely no sense to me.
That’s like saying, “Hey, mom? Why do you paint your nails? That’s a waste of time.” Or, “Hey, dad! Why do you watch football? That’s a waste of time.” Or, “Hey, Arnold! That’s a great show. I missed that…show.” I feel better now. You get the point. I actually believe that video games are good for kids–or anyone. Video games aren’t a waste of time, they’re good for you! They teach life lessons. And I think it’s about time that our society starts to appreciate that. So for all the gamers, the geeks, the nerds, the so-called losers, I’m standing up for you! The next time somebody says, “Gaming is a waste of time”– like a friend or a parent or a boyfriend or girlfriend, probably not the last two because you’re a nerd, hah hah. I’m gonna stand up for you and let them know the truth and tell them all the reasons why…
I’m so close to the camera I’m out of focus. All the reasons why…gaming is actually good for you. (video game music) First, let me start off with the most obvious one: Hand-eye coordination. A lot of video games require quick reflexes, especially first person shooters like Counter Strike, Gears of War, Halo, Modern Warfare, ETC. I can’t think of a better way to teach hand-eye coordination. I mean, how else would I be able to do something like this? Candy. Too easy. Ah! Problem Solving. If you don’t run into any difficult problems, it’s not a real video game. And that’s just like life. If your life has no problems, you’re not really living it. That is deep. I just made that up! That is a straight-up annoying person’s caption for their selfie on Instagram.
Anyway, I’m off topic. In both video games and life, you’re gonna run into problems. And a true gamer never gives up. He problem solves until he figures out how to win. Trial and error, looking for patterns, keeping at it until he gets better and better. For example, in real life, if you’re taking a Calculus class and you’re failing, treat it like a video game! Try to problem-solve, never give up, and eventually you will succeed. And if you know you’re not ready and you can’t beat that level, well then, lower the difficulty.
Take ceramics. Camping. Don’t be a camper. For all you gamers out there, you already know what a camper is. But for those of you that don’t, a camper basically is someone that will wait around and hide until their victims come to them, rather than actually playing the actual game. This is such an important life lesson! Yeah, sure, be a camper and enjoy the safe route. Hide behind a bush or a coach your whole life. But if you want to have an exciting life, don’t just be a camper who just waits around until opportunity comes to you. It’s not just lame to people, it’s irritating. You get out there and you get it! Go after what you want in life! Camping is boring.
Rush! Storm the front! Go, go, go! Counter Strike references. Hackers. Hackers aren’t respected. Sure, you can be a hacker in life and cheat your way to the top. But you and everyone else around you knows that you hacked to get there. And the thing is technology is so good now that if you’re hacking, you’re gonna get caught. And dare I say it… Banned. So we’ll make her dance. Dance, make her dance. Nobody likes a rage quitter. You know those guys that quit the game out of frustration. Go! Go! Go! SON OF A [BLEEP]! MAN, I [BLEEP] QUIT! I [BLEEP] QUIT! If you play games, especially online, you know the feeling of wanting to rage quit. Don’t even lie! And as irritating as a rage quitter is, it still teaches you a life lesson. Sometimes you get so upset and frustrated that you just have to stop. When you’re in a place in life when you’re so unhappy with the way things are going, take a break.
Take some time to cool off and come back even stronger. Money management! Whether it’s coins, dollars, minerals, or whatever, video games teach you how to spend it wisely. For example, if you’re gonna buy an AWP, you have to remember to save money for ammo because ammo’s pretty expensive, not to mention your secondary weapon, Desert Eagle or something, and we didn’t even get to the part about the equipment, like your kevlar helmet, your frag grenade, your double flash bangs and/or smoke grenades and stun– damn, I really am a nerd. If you get any of those references, you’re awesome. Micromanaging. When you have a bunch of units, you don’t just auto-attack like some NOOB! You assign different units to do different things. Yet another life lesson. Each person has their own specific purpose. Micro-manage each person to do what they’re best at.
That’s efficiency. Biology. Every first person shooter will teach you that you’re more likely to die if you get shot in the head than the arm or the leg. Okay, maybe that one might seem obvious, but if you think about it, it’s probably obvious because you learned that from a video game or a movie! It’s true, though. If you get shot in the head…GG, bro. Multiplayer. To me, this is one of the most valuable life lessons you can learn from video games. Most, if not all, video games these days are multiplayer. Multiplayer teaches you that if you have a bad team and you don’t work together, you’re probably gonna lose. You can’t always do everything by yourself. The bottom line is there’s no I in the spelling of teamwork, just like there’s no I in the spelling of multyplayer…with the bottom line.
There it is! And the sooner you learn that, the sooner we can all work together like a multiplayer unit and convince people that video games aren’t a waste of time! Video games are important to teaching people how to really start living life by not setting up camp, but going after the things they really want, without having to cheat their way to the top.
Even if they have to rage quit every now and then, they’ll learn to problem solve and never give up until they get there. And once they do, they’ll already have passed any problems that come along their way with the quickest reflexes the world has ever seen. Because gaming is more than just a game. It’s life. And like I always said since I was a little kid, “If your life has no problems, you’re not really playing the life.” Wait…no. If life has no problems, the game is not really playing the l-life. What?! When the life is like…problem. Games are problems– If life is a game, the problem is– If your game has problems, take it back to the store that you got it from. Life is like a Xbox of chocolates.